1. Your book definitely got some rave reviews on Amazon. It's not often that much enthusiasm is created by a book, particularly from those in the industry, who as a rule really have seen it all before. What's so different about your approach?

Several things make my book an easy, helpful read:

• Practical information that can be used immediately
• Easily readable style that enables people to read it from cover to cover without tiring
• My breadth of experience from working for a company with 1M employees to a company with 1 employee gives me a perspective many networking authors lack
• My experience as founder and president for 10 years of a business referral organization that had up to 17 chapters in the Chicago area. It was bought by BNI.
• I make my living by writing, speaking and training people how to build social capital.

3. Two of the concepts you deal with are networking personality, and networking styles. Could you define these terms, and how they're used in networks?

This is an in-depth topic to which I have devoted several chapters. I'll give an overview so your readers can decide if they want to learn more.

Networking involves dealing with people. These people don't necessarily follow the script we have written for them. And, when they don't, it can be fun, interesting, disappointing, frustrating and even downright painful depending on the situation.

Sometimes, people aren't trying to disagree with you; they are just behaving naturally. However, their natural way can be 180 degrees different from the way you approach the solution.

I use the DISC language to discuss and understand interpersonal concerns. It's a relatively simple model that helps us better comprehend the complexity of human behavior.

The four major behavior patterns are Dominance (Dauntless), Influencing (Indefatigable), Steadiness (Supportive) and Conscientiousness (Careful). These are the four types of responses people have to their environment (which is everything other than yourself), and the assessment tool measures individual's perceptions. The words in parenthesis are the names I have given the styles when I adapted them to people's natural networking styles in Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships That Last.

Dominant and Influencing styles are assertive, fast-paced and bold. They are comfortable trying to change their environment and make it more suitable for themselves. People with Steadiness and Conscientious tendencies are more moderate-paced and careful and can be comfortable yielding to the environment.

People with Dominant and Conscientious tendencies tend to be more skeptical and are likely to question and challenge what is happening in their environment.

Those with Influencing and Steadiness tendencies perceive the environment as more positive; they are more accepting and agreeable. ('It's great to be alive. I can't wait to attend that networking breakfast. I'll meet so many prospects. Oh, and dinner and the theatre tonight will be a wonderful end to the day!').

Each of us is a combination of all four styles; however, we usually show a preference for one or more of the styles because we find it more comfort to behave that way. Once we better understand what makes us and others act and react the way we do, we will improve our people-reading skills and be able to modify and adapt our behavior in different situations. People like to be interacted with in their style, not yours. Yes, you may have to stretch; however, it will help you improve customer service, make the sale, manage better, reduce conflict, improve communication and build stronger relationships.

Dominant styles are easy to detect in networking. Some people nickname them, 'The Intimidator'. They sport a strong handshake, steady eye contact, self-confidence and an aura that may cause less powerful people to quiver and shake. They prosper by solving challenges, forgetting often they are a challenge for others. They don't get ulcers; however, they are carriers.

In general, Dominant styles are risk takers and like bottom-line results. Give them brief, direct answers. Shortcomings in networking include their being impatient (finish others' sentences, dislike small talk, interrupt others, talk over others), too direct and lacking sensitivity for others' feelings.

Influencers are truly 'people' people. They love networking! They can work a room like silk and collect multitudinous business cards. Here, they have two challenges: They typically lose at least half the cards before they get back to the office … and the morning after an event, they can’t remember what people do because they gave them such little time to talk.

They are incredibly persuasive and are the chosen ones to promote events, policies or whatever else you want to 'sell.' They can think on their feet and turn on a dime. They are good cheerleaders for new projects and products and to energize the troops.

They definitely need help with time management and organizational skills. They file on the floor and probably have not seen the top of their desk since they first sat down behind it.

Steadiness styles are just as their moniker indicates: Amicable, calm, harmonious, pleasant, sincere and soothing. They are like a sedative on feet! They prefer an environment in which everyone gets along. They dislike conflict and become turtle-like when it occurs. Their hope is that when stick their neck back out of their shell, the disagreements will have been resolved.

People with the Steadiness tendencies are by far the best listeners (a major networking strength), and are often cornered at events by the Influencers who find them such a willing audience. In fact, the Steady people often have to interrupt to signal they are ready to move on … after an hour of being so polite!

These people are most comfortable in a sincere, personal and agreeable environment. Be patient and draw them out by asking open-ended questions, being careful not to thrust them into the spotlight … where they are not comfortable. Show them through your actions that you are trustworthy.

If you are a Dominant or Influencing style, slow down and let them catch up. You can wear them out just by being you!

People with Conscientiousness tendencies are analytical, quality-control people who make sure things are done right. Usually, they think they can do it 'most right' and prefer doing things themselves and working alone. As managers, they have sticky fingers and micro-manage. (At home, their checkbooks have to balance to the penny. There's trouble ahead when they share an account with an Influencing person who is happy if his/hers is within $20 of what the bank shows!)

They seem to have computers in their heads that are processing around the clock. Conscientious styles like to compare what is said to their internal database. If it fits, they keep it; if not, they discard it. They spent a lot of time evaluating, processing and deciding and, therefore, they are the least verbal of all the styles … even stoic, at times (which presents a major networking challenge). They like to make sure they have considered every angle before they present an answer.

Prepare your case in advance and logically present pros and cons and as much data as you can find (they actually read all of it!). Don't try to schmooze them; they think logically, not emotionally, and are often turned off by the mere thought of networking. Become comfortable with pauses when you engage them in conversation; they need to analyze. If you interrupt them, they will need to start the analysis over. Concentrate on their body language since they try hardest to conceal their feelings. On the phone don't ask if they are still there!

Remember the Platinum Rule when networking: Treat others as they want to be treated, not necessarily how you think they should be treated. Try to see the situation through their eyes, and it will help you understand and respect why they are behaving as they are.

4. Networking in terms of employment is a major issue for our members, where it relates to the fluid, and sometimes very large, set of contacts built up in job hunting. How do you define good long term career and employment network people?

1. First of all, solid relationships are built over time. They take TCC - time, care and commitment. That means staying in touch even when you and they don't need anything in particular. It especially means stepping up when someone does need a favor or help that you can provide. It means behaving with integrity and honesty and being trustworthy. Your network is the most personal thing you own. When you refer someone who doesn't act professionally, it is YOU who loses face. Therefore, choose your network carefully. Learn to weed the seeds you plant as some of them may not be worth nurturing.
2. Particularly regarding people in transition … they must never contact people only when they are job hunting. I advice people to not help someone who has failed to stay in touch with you and seeks you out only when they are looking for a job. Be honest with yourself, you don't know if the person was downsized or ostracized for who knows what. How can you possibly refer that person without reconnecting with him/her over a period of time to find out the truth?

5. How do you know when your network's working effectively, and when it's not delivering?

You know when your network is working effectively, when at least 80-90 percent of your business is through referrals if you are in sales or self-employed. When working corporately, you can measure the success of your network by how efficiently you are able to get work done in the office, get lateral moves or promotions and easily find another job when necessity or desire dictates you want to move.

7. Networks are now a standard mechanism in global business and careers. How do you see networks evolving, as the New Economy replaces the old methodologies?

1. I glad you asked. I am a great believer in face-to-face networking to meet people vs. online networking, where people are not necessarily honest about whom they are. Online tools, like e-mail, are a great way to maintain and grow relationships once you know with whom you are working. They offer immediacy and ease not found in telephone or more formal written communication.
2. To emphasize my point about starting relationships by face-to-face methods, let's go back hundreds of year to when Gen. Israel Putnam was commanding the Revolutionary Army at the Battle of Bunker Hill. He said: 'Men, you are all marksmen - don't one of you fire until you see the whites of their eyes.'

I believe that the best relationships are begun when you can see the whites of another's eyes. That's why I suggest you take the time to have a cup of coffee or a meal when someone you think is important wants to meet you. Make the same offer when you want to meet someone. If the 'someone' is not geographically accessible, then I suggest you spent time on the phone, through e-mail, at their website and talking with others who know them before you commit to a business relationship. Often, it can be worth your time to fly to meet them, especially if the business venture is of any substance.

While the Internet is a great research tool and can provide a plethora of information about individuals and companies before and after you have met someone, it will never replace the verbal and nonverbal information that is transferred in a handshake and face-to-face exchange.