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trishl

Hi,
I'm new here and have been struggling with a decision for some time now.I'm turning 43 this year and a single mom.I have a dead-end job that I hateand I'm barely scraping by with the wages I make.I work as a housekeeper so there is no chance of advancement or anything.My question is this,is going back to college at this time in my life ,I already have almost 2 years of college from years ago,something I should even be considering?
I have always wanted to go backand get a degree,not really sure what in,maybe something in the health field or business.Would this be a waste of time at my age? I am raising my son on my own with no support of any kind so a better job would really help us out alot.I'm just noty sure if the time and money I would have to invest in going back to school would be worth whatever benefits I would get from it.I know education is always a good thing,but at what age shpuld you stop considering that one of your options?
I have been struggling with this for some time now and would greatly appreciate any advice.Thank you so much for your time.

safri · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 213 Career Advice: +1/-1

trish....I have read your post and I don't have good news, as far as I'm concerned. The biggest problem now is your age. Meaning even if you are going to college, you'll still have problems in getting to interviewes and then get some better jobs. Because employers these days can get really discriminating when it comes to preferring younger people to older ones.
Sure...it is not a dead end road, but to me it does sound like a waste of time.
However, I'm gonna give you an example...actually more....in my former college, I had not less than 12 people over 40 doing college courses. But they were already teachers who were trying to become professors. To them, it wasn't a waste of time, but a way of getting a promotion.

trishl · Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:27 pm Post subject:

So basically you're saying I'm stuck where I'm at.I have alot of working years ahead of me but at this age I shouldn't try to improve my life.That is so discouraging,thank you so much for being honest with me though,I wanted honest opinions.My son is only 12 years old,my dream,goal,whatever is to buy us a house and not have to worry about struggling from paycheck to paycheck.If not by getting a degree then how is a single mom at my age,I know I can't be the only one,supposed to get ahead and improve their lives.If anyone has suggestions I would love to hear them,I desperately need to hear them.Thank you for listening. Sad

sweet_life · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 184 Career Advice: +0/-1

Hi there,
It is not that you won't be able to actually get a degree....it is the today's missconceptions which will cause problems, dear. Do not be discouraged because in my opinion there are things you can do in order to buy yourself whatever you want (even if a house sounds...a lot of work). I think safri didn't mean to discourage you in any way, he (she) just told you what may happen. And I kinds agree. Employers today are indeed looking for "fresh meat". I say something like this: if you think you will feel fulfilled, go for a degree. As far as I know, you can have a degree even if you don't go 4 years in college (in my country this is how long college years are). You can have one by having a specialized course. I'm just saying college seems a long time.

Randy · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 6:47 pm Post subject:

Hey, trish....

I noticed you're in Tennessee. I'm right up the road from you in SW VA, and we know how it works here in the south, right? If it wasn't for federally mandated minimum wage laws, I swear that most employers wouldn't pay a buck an hour!

I agree, completely, with the abysmal prospects of things (other than personal satisfaction) improving that much if you get a college degree. Yes, age discrimination is indeed illegal, but proving it prevented you from getting a job becomes your burden of proof. Yeah, they got us real good on this one.

But I get the sense you're selling yourself short, that you see yourself as "worthy" of nothing more than house-cleaning and the such. The very fact that you're a single mom and holding things together speaks volumes about character and integrity and that, when all is said and done, always impresses potential employers. Granted, most still make the mistake of hiring based on capricious matters of formal education and the such and continue to undervalue and downplay the importance of those so-called "life's experiences."

This becomes the area in which you keep looking until you find that person with whom you "click," someone else who just "gets it." And you will. Just start thinking of other employers and the occupations they offer that you know you could perform, the ones requiring no "college degrees." But here's a tip: When an employer advertises a job and states "such-and-such degree preferred," you better believe that "preferred" means required!

You didn't mention how old your son is, but if he's school age, put him to "work" for you in this. I.E., have him start asking his pals where their parents work. Contrary to popular notion, not everyone in this country has a four-year (or more) degree and sits in an office all day. And though there's not much respect for us "blue-collar" types any more, there really are lots of places who still NEED us--and they're need for us is far greater than our need for them. You just need to "help" them understand that.

You're going to be fine. I know that because you have your priorities straight!

trishl · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:25 pm Post subject:

Thanks Randy,
I really needed some encouragement today and reading your post really helped.Ever since I read the first reply to my post I admit Ive felt pretty bad.I am a member of a single parents forum and they are always saying it's never too late to go back and get your degreeand make your life better,but reading the replies here has made me stop and think alot,after the feeling of ice-cold water being thrown on me to bring me back to reality,that is.Really though,maybe it is too late to go back to school and get a degree but I HAVE to do SOMETHING.My son is 12 years old and we are both tired of struggling from paycheck to paycheck.I want so much better for him,I feel as if I have failed him,that I should be providing better for him.Just about all of his friends have two parents and then there's me,one measly paycheck and no support or assistance of any kind.He's still young and I know it bothers him that he get get everything they do or have a nice house like they do.He shouldn't have to worry about this stuff.
So,I've given it some more thought and talked to some people at work and I am considering checking out the vocational school.I can get take LPN training in one year and then if I want the RN title I can do that online.I'm going to check what other programs they offer and most just take one year.Does this sound like a better plan,I really need to make some changes in my life and could use all the input I can get.Thanks so much.

Randy · Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:29 am Post subject:

quote="trishl"

Thanks Randy....

You're most welcome indeed.

...I want so much better for him,I feel as if I have failed him,that I should be providing better for him.

Oh, I bet he understands all that, but I'd also bet he's more certain of something far more important: That you love him and you're doing the best he can. Those are the memories he's going to have later in life, not about how much money and "stuff" y'all do or don't have.

...I am considering checking out the vocational school.

Our older daughter (21, married) had me run by Virginia Western Community College here in Roanoke just today and pick her up some infomation. Seems she's going back to school herself. She wants to learn to take care of penguins!

I can get take LPN training in one year....

There you go! Good for you! And if there's much need for LPN's down yonder in TN, head on up this way! That particular field is wide open, at all levels! Roanoke Memorial Hospital is up here (major cardiac-care facility) as well as all that Carilion-stuff! And there's no shortage of really decent and affordable places to live. And great schools!

Does this sound like a better plan....

Sounds great to me! And just think: You get to tell your son that you get to practice your new "skills" on him, right?

Trish, once you get things lined up, I think you outta throw a celebration party for you and your son, don't you? Hollywood makes millions giving us happy endings. We need to talk less about happy endings and more about happy beginnings!

lexa10881 · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:32 am Post subject:

You are not too old to benefit from finishing an education that you started a long time ago. It sounds to me that you are just trying to better your life for both you and your son. That is admirable. I wil tell you that it will be hard to manage work, school, and your son, but know that there is help available. Many colleges will give you extra aid and sometimes you can grants/government money in relation to your age and being a single parent. Keep that in mind.

This particular article refers to job searching over 40. The only advice I can give you otherwise is to persevere, and finish. You can handle it, or the thought would have never entered your mind. Best of luck to you!

http://www.cvtips.com/over_40_job_search.html

kjcalia1 · Newbie Joined: 30 Mar 2007 Posts: 3 Career Advice: +0/-0

This is the way i see it.. You should go back to school, no matter your age! If you take a deep look, nothing really matters but persistance and ambition and if you have that you will be fine. I really suggest you go back to school, even if you cant get a amazing job it is still worth it. Education is never wasted. You will not only feel better about yourself but you are better! Smarter! and with a degree you are better off then a huge % of the U.S. With no degree (no offense!) you are nothing, no different from a drug addict high school graduate. GET THE DEGREE! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT. By the way, this is coming from a college student, age 19. Why listen to me though? Well, my mom went back to college and she loved it.( and she was juggling school, work and her 3 children) The sad part is, she has huge trouble getting a job because she has a slight criminal record. Although she has kind of given up on trying to get a new job, she still does not regret it. The only thing holding her back was the record. By the way she was 50 when she went back. If you dont have anything major like my mom , i think you can do great.

ank06 · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 248 Career Advice: +1/-0

It is far more important for a person going over 40 to possess the skills than to posess a degree. This is my opinion. I trully believe that if an employer needs to be convinced you do have the necessary knowledge about a thing or another, he could have you tested or even trained.
You will have a degree after 2-4 years...so, if you really want to spend this time in college...you might as well try it, but I'd rather have some specific courses done, certified by a diploma in the end.

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