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FUNNY RESIGNATION LETTER EVER

Amusement ONLY DO NOT USE THIS EVER

Dear Mr. XXXXXX,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility,
you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for
your
glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you
are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely
to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am
forced
to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for
you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I
prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next
couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to
do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every
password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get
cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved
when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like
"Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's
birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures
of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the
techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd
acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and
kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of
recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct
your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f***
with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with
all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

lightmaker · Newbie Joined: 07 Jul 2007 Posts: 1 Career Advice: +0/-0

I used your resignation letter to resign from the job, though i changed some text to fit my designation. It had all the things that were true about my manager. It worked Smile

and i got clearence but the manager begged me to change the letter LOL

dorothea · Expert Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 123 Career Advice: +1/-0

Haha LOL....I doubt this ca ever be used for real. Anyway, very funny...a real good secret weapon.
Is this true a former employer is not allowed to give a bad reference? Smile

) This could get close to heaven for some people Very Happy

Again....I believe that some employers do need to be taken in a rough way sometimes, but I doubt anyone would leave a written thing like this behind. It could become a very effective proof Very Happy

What if the employer is nuttier than you?

Now to get more serious about resignation :

http://www.cvtips.com/preparing_to_resign.html

Think wise, everybody!

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