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ngs500 · Newbie Joined: 01 Aug 2007 Posts: 2 Career Advice: +0/-0

Hi all,

I am new here and apologize in advance for the novel below.

I hope somebody can give me advice. I have been working nearly two years at a very small, highly competitive biotechnology company. I came here from doing my post-doc in the academic arena and I feel that I am way out of my league.

Without an exception, everybody here is extremely smart, knowledgeable and hard-working. This definition fits even the non-PhD scientists and non-scientific personnel. Most people here work on average 60 hours a week (many work much more than that). With a 14 month-old child, I can only put in 50 hours and frankly if I try and work harder than that, I tend to make stupid errors.

I had a very poor job performance review back in February more than a year after I started the job. Many of the issues management had with me were true. Basically I had trouble picking up certain research skills, trouble focusing on and planning specific experiments (and thus producing interesting results) and I hadn't stepped forward in a key area to replace somebody the company had to fire for poor performance (ironic isn't it). I tend to be a very quiet and reserved person and I have low self-confidence so I never felt comfortable asking for more job training than I had initially. My low self-confidence and lack of experience also prevented me from stepping forward in the key area that they needed. I think that if they had directly asked me to take charge, I would have done so and would have been competent enough, but the culture at the company is such that they expect everybody even low level scientists to be very forward and have a take charge attitude. Basically, not a lot of managing goes on here which can be very good in some respects but bad if you have no idea where to start.

I was also taken to task for my lack of communication which I admit can be another fault of mine. I like to sit on data until I've repeated experiments several times and am sure of the results before sending out a report. However, I felt at the time that the lack of communication definitely went both ways. For instance, when I was hired, they described general areas I would be working in but left everything very free-form and up in the air. I guess they wanted me to define the job and when I didn't do things the way they wanted, I feel like I got dinged. There was also an area that I was told I was to be primarily working in. It was the one responsibility that I actually did not get a poor performance review on. However, my direct supervisor in this area did not seem to want me involved almost from the beginning of my employment. He never discussed any of his plans, ideas, experiments with me yet did so regularly with other members of the team. I felt like I could not adequately do the job that I was hired for. Now nearly a year later, I am only peripherally involved in this aspect of the company although this was the job that I had initially applied for, is the one that I am most qualified for, and is the one aspect of my job that I did not do poorly on in my performance review. At least my supervisor was professional and did not complain about my performance!

I am still employed because I put my nose to the grindstone and really focused on my problem areas. I have improved a great deal which is wonderful. However, I have lost all motivation for this job. I feel that I have been placed in peripheral, non-important and non-interesting projects and that my strongest skills and interests have been ignored. Most other scientists at my company are involved in multiple collaborative experiments. I am completing my experiments alone and feel very isolated. Unless I come up with an amazing break-through, there is no way I am going to advance here, no matter how hard I try.

I have been trying to find a new job since before I received my review, but I haven't had any luck in the field. I am at a high-enough level that I am a little too specialized to find a job easily, plus in my field, contacts are pretty much the way to land a position. I know that I will not be receiving a good reference from my current place of employment which makes things that much more difficult. I did have a couple of phone interviews but since I share an office, those went rather poorly. I have the bad luck to have very poor cell phone reception at work so had to take the phone calls at my work phone with my office mate listening in. Needless to say, I was rather inhibited in my responses and did not receive requests for in-person interviews.

Currently, I am considering changing career directions to increase my chances of landing another job. Although I love research, I no longer have any confidence in my abilities and feel that I would be better suited for a more routine career. I am considering taking classes to become a clinical program manager or a patent agent. I have been hesitating to do this because of the time and money commitment involved.

If any of you have managed to read through the novel above, do you have any advice? At this late stage of my career, should I try and stick it out at my current job or spend the time and effort to switch directions? Is it possible for me to still land another job in my field with my poor past performance history?

Please help. Although I am still employed, I am extremely depressed over my situation and it is affecting my behavior towards my child. I do not want to fail at being a parent as much as I have failed at my chosen career.

Thank-you

Randy

ngs500"

I came here from doing my post-doc in the academic arena and I feel that I am way out of my league.

Morning,

Well, for what it's worth, there's your first mistake. Here I sit, high-school graduate only (1969), over four-dozen employers in my past. I understand what and how you meant "...feel that...out of my league," but now is as good as time as any to get over being either overly-impressed, or even intimidated, by other's credentials. They're just folks like you and me and it all becomes completely relative.

Without an exception, everybody here is extremely smart, knowledgeable and hard-working. This definition fits even the non-PhD scientists and non-scientific personnel. Most people here work on average 60 hours a week (many work much more than that).

Working an average of 60 hours a week doesn't sound "smart" to me. It suggests three possibilities: They LOVE their work. And there's no problem with that. Or maybe they HATE every moment of it, but the pay is really good. But the real issue is they have no life, nothing else in their lives of any meaning and purpose other than their job. That's the only definition of a "loser" I know.

And you know exactly what I mean by accusing them of having no life because

With a 14 month-old child, I can only put in 50 hours...

So all those others may indeed have families and "hobbies" and what have you. But if they're giving THAT much time to a job? Again, no life. So sad.

and frankly if I try and work harder than that, I tend to make stupid errors.

And now you understand, for example, why we see so many big-trucks in the ditches and crashing into everything in site. Drivers "average" 70 hours or more, per week, day after day after night after night. But those who make the rules, men and women with lots of degrees and titles after their names, can't figure out why there's so many "accidents."

Please don't make the mistake of equating "education" with "intelligence" or having a lucrative "career" with being "successful."

I had a very poor job performance review back in February more than a year after I started the job....

And so these "extremely smart" people waited for more than a year to let you have some idea of how you were doing? They may possess greater intellectual sophistication than me, but that still makes them dumb as rocks.

....and planning specific experiments (and thus producing interesting results)....

And that's a bad thing? Haven't some of the world's greatest discoveries come to us by way of "accidents"? So all you're saying is you failed to give them exactly what THEY wanted. Your "failure" is that of most employees, blue-collar or white: You weren't a good little sheep.

and I hadn't stepped forward in a key area to replace somebody the company had to fire for poor performance (ironic isn't it).

Face it: You work for and with a bunch of megalomaniacs and your best is never, ever going to be good enough for them.

I tend to be a very quiet and reserved person and I have low self-confidence...

Well, I hope after your experience in THAT environment, you begin to have more confidence in yourself. I know the path and experiences in my life that helped me "get over it," but you have to find a way to stop letting people like this intimidate you. I'm sitting here thinking of YOUR credentials, the years, the work, and the money you vested and wondering "Why in the hell can anyone with that background be intimidated by anyone?" If I could, I'd mail you a big dose of old-fashioned southern attitude called "screw 'em!"

prevented me from stepping forward in the key area that they needed.

Oh, so NOW you're also supposed to be a mind-reader?

Listen: It's admirable, really, that you're going that extra mile, or two, or million, to see this from THEIR point-of-view. But this is YOUR life! Live it on YOUR terms. It's a business setting, nothing more, nothing less. Absent the titles and credentials and nature of the work, I've worked with and for the type of people you're describing many, many times. They are educated way beyond their intelligence. In short, they're peckerheads. (That's the joy and fun of being blue-collar, you know. There's no requirement one maintain sophistication in manner or speech. It's a lot of fun!)

I think that if they had directly asked me to take charge, I would have done so and would have been competent enough, but the culture at the company is such that they expect everybody even low level scientists to be very forward and have a take charge attitude.

No, they don't. They want you to BELIEVE that, to think it. But if you suddenly become this gung-ho employee, it won't be long you'll be back in someone's office, being lectured about your "over-aggressiveness" and how you're making your co-workers feel "intimidated."

Frankly, you work for a bunch of arrogant snobs.

I like to sit on data until I've repeated experiments several times and am sure of the results before sending out a report.

Isn't that the rather basic and accepted premise of "science"?

So now let me say this--and I'm tossing out any "apologetic" posture. As I said, I've worked for fifty-plus companies in forty years. Let's call that my life's personal "experiment." And I'm telling you that the "results" are always, always, always the same! If I was asked to reduce it to the most basic premise possible, it's covered in two words: "Human Resource." Not a plug, but the inevitable conclusions of my "experiment" will be out in a book soon, the same process as a scientist "sending out a report."

And you have the great fortune to have already seen it, and experienced it, up-close and personal:

I felt at the time that the lack of communication definitely went both ways....they wanted me to define the job and when I didn't do things the way they wanted, I feel like I got dinged.

Zugzwang. Catch-22. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

At this late stage of my career, should I try and stick it out at my current job or spend the time and effort to switch directions?

Stay miserable for mere money? Like Al Yankovic said, "I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'til I die, then spend, one more minute, with you."

Is it possible for me to still land another job in my field with my poor past performance history?

That "history" is nothing more than judgments made by a previous employer. Your credentials speak for themselves. And when all is said and done, potential employers hire based on the one aspect of our natures none seem to be able to escape: First impressions. I.E., employers hire whom they like, period.

E.G.: I've had a Class A CDL since 2000, + 5 driving report. Can't get better than that. I "should" be able to go anywhere and get a job driving a damned truck, right? Nope. It's not my "experience" and "credentials" that gets hired, is it? It's ME, the real-life person, not the resume, the history, the application, but ME. And who hires me? Just some chap or chapette who has to decide whether or not I'd be a good "fit" with their organization.

I have no idea who Fred Charette is/was, but he said:

"Never hire anyone who is going to report directly to you who you do not intuitively just plain like from first impressions. If your instincts tell you you're going to have a hard time working with someone, pass."

THAT must be the ONLY thing they teach in Human Resouces 101.

Again, think of "Human Resource" as the ultimate Zen koan. Once you've uncovered the mystery, it all makes perfect sense, in a damnably insane kind of way.

Please help. Although I am still employed, I am extremely depressed over my situation and it is affecting my behavior towards my child.

There's your answer, and you know it. It's time to leave NOW! The universe has an amazing way of helping those who make intelligent choices. You're facing nothing more than a corporate version of an armed robbery: "Your money or your life."

I do not want to fail at being a parent as much as I have failed at my chosen career.

Stop. NONE of this working-related crap is about losing/winning. We "work" because we moved past trading a bushel of corn for a buffalo hide. Neanderthal man in a suit-and-tie is domesticated, perhaps, but that's not the same as being civilized.

Life, family, friends, and fun first! Then career and money. Carts and horses.

ngs500 · Newbie Joined: 01 Aug 2007 Posts: 2 Career Advice: +0/-0

Dear Randy,

I want to thank-you for the kind words and advice. Just the act of writing my thoughts down was a huge catharsis for me. I immediately felt so much better and your responses have been icing on the cake. My husband gave me the same advice you did. He has been a professional for several more years and has the benefit of experience and immediately was suspicious of the managerial capabilities of some of these people. I guess that's why they want top-notch experienced employees that know exactly what to do.

Do remember that you are only hearing my side of the story and I most definitely need all sorts of improvement! And to be honest, I am glad that I didn't lose the job and I still have a chance to make those improvements. My employers have the luxury of being able to hire pretty much whoever they want because there are a glut of PhDs in the field.

If it was up to me, I would definitely put my family first and take a part-time job but we can't afford to do that so I am stuck until I can find a better position.

Well, back to work!

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