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Donuts Newbie

Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 3 Career Advice: +0/-0

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Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject: need help for cover letter |
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Hello I'm French and i would like to do an internship in British Columbia the next year for my last year of Master.
So this is my cover letter if you can help me for orthography or if you have advices it will be nice.
Thanks you.
July 18, 2008
Dear Madam, dear Sir,
As a hydrogeologist graduate from the University of ********, I am writing to enquire about the possibility of carrying out an internship in your firm.
In September 2008 I will start my last year of my Master’s degree in Hydrogeology and Environment. That is why, I am seeking already now an internship which would ideally start in January 2009, and during 6 month.
My different internships has given me the opportunity to improve my skills in geosciences. One in a small corporation given me good competences in GIS, irrigation, autonomy working. The last, in University, given me a lot of hands-on experience and has helped me demonstrate outstanding organizational skills. I discovered a new country (******) and a new way of working.
I would like to improve my English and my science skills. I think that British Colombia is a good place to progress. Consistency, serious, people-oriented. I am highly motivated for a work placement in your organisation because I feel that I would be able to make a useful contribution as well as benefiting personally from the valuable experience it would provide.
I would be delighted to attend for an interview and look forward to hearing from you soon.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours Faithfully,
************
(33) * ** ** ** **
Please find enclosed a copy of my curriculum vitae.
Last edited by Donuts on Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:27 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Donuts Newbie

Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 3 Career Advice: +0/-0

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Pauloz Expert

Joined: 02 Oct 2007 Posts: 348 Career Advice: +0/-0 Location: Sydney

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Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:11 am Post subject: |
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Donuts
Sorry about the delay there, some of our people are off.
Your grammar's slightly off, and the usage needs some fine tuning, but basically OK. Changes in italics.
There's one sentence that I've suggested rewording.
The actual content is fine.
Dear Sir/Madam
As a hydrogeologist graduate from the University of ********, I am writing to enquire about the possibility of carrying out an internship in your firm.
In September 2008 I will start my last year of my Master’s degree in Hydrogeology and Environment. That is why(no comma) I am now seeking an internship which would ideally start in January 2009, and be of 6 months in duration.
My different internships have given me the opportunity to improve my skills in geosciences. One in a small corporation has given me good competencies in GIS, irrigation, and working autonomously. The last, in University, has given me a lot of hands-on experience and has helped me demonstrate outstanding organizational skills. I discovered a new country (******) and a new way of working.
I would like to improve my English and my practical science skills. I think that British Colombia is a good place to progress. Consistency, serious, people-oriented (Sentence doesn't make sense. You could say "I'm looking for a consistent, serious, people-oriented place to study) I am highly motivated for a work placement in your organisation because I feel that I would be able to make a useful contribution as well as benefiting personally from the valuable experience it would provide.
I would be delighted to attend for an interview and look forward to hearing from you soon.
(Space between text and salutation)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours Faithfully, |
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Donuts Newbie

Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 3 Career Advice: +0/-0

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Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:27 am Post subject: |
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Thx thx thx thx !!!!
thanks you a lot for your help !
You find my problems : have/has ( finished or again in the present) !
If you need someone for watching your French cover letter send me a message
Bye bye |
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str0ngice Newbie

Joined: 28 Jul 2008 Posts: 1 Career Advice: +0/-0 Location: Manila

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Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Donuts!
Just an add-on. If you're applying in Canada, pls don't use "Sir/Madam".
I think it's better to use "Dear Mr./Ms. *****," if you know the name. If not, you may use "To whom it may concern,"
Good luck! |
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