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tailyy
Newbie
Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 3
Career Advice: +0/-0
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 Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 6:41 pm Post subject: please critique my first cover letter |
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i would really appreciate it if you can critique my cover letter.
this is my first time writing a cover letter. any comment or sugguestion is welcomed. thanks! here goes:
>>>>
Dear Hiring Manager,
Your job opening for a secretary on your company website fits my qualification perfectly. I am interested in this position and would like to learn more about this opportunity.
As the enclosed resume indicates, I have the requisite skills and knowledge you require for the position. I have a solid educational foundation in business administration, including intermediate technical skills in MS Office Suite and internet research. I am now pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting. I have an excellent performance as a part-time employee concurrent with full-time college enrollment. Based on two years of my working experience in customer service field, I can offer strong interpersonal and communication skills and as well as the ability to multi-task in a challenging and fast-paced environment. According to the experience of being an active member of committee of ABA and a volunteer in college events, I am confident that I can become a productive and cooperative team member in your organization.
I am positive that if you hire me as a secretary of your company, the Director will have more time and energy to concentrate on growing your business.
I look forward to an in-depth interview with you in person to discuss my background and administrative skills and how they can be valuable to your company. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
my name
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safri
Expert
Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 213
Career Advice: +1/-1
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| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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Hi
This cover letter looks good to me. You have the motivation, you have the arguments. I think it will do perfectly. Nevertheless, you can check the cover letter tutorial on this site if you want to give your a more professional look.
I don't know about that part with "the director will have more time to...."....It's good but I'm thinking the hiring manager will think you're being a little bit cocky.
However, wait for second opinions  )
Good luck! |
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Katja144
Expert
Joined: 22 Aug 2005
Posts: 176
Career Advice: +2/-0
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