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bibliophile1969 · Newbie Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 3 Career Advice: +0/-0

I'm sure I am not the only person who is stuck in a rut, but I sure feel like I am. The problem is, I have a job that isn't really bad, but I've been with this company for a few years and find myself craving to move on from here. I haven't had any luck in either thinking about what I really want to do and going after it ,or finding a different job that I'm happier with. And most of the time the thought nags at me that I am unhappy where I am because I can't deal with the people politics and the work pressure. I feel friendless and unfulfilled at work. It's basically the loneliness I feel at work that is making me think of leaving. I just feel aliienated and isolated every single day. It's a weird atmosphere. It's affecting my self-esteem and my general happiness. I've been on the brink of leaving, but then I would have to move to another city, and I am not prepared to do that. I like where I live, I JUST HATE THE COMPANY I WORK FOR. I want to leave, but something keeps holding me back. I am unable to envisage anything better, and I have not succeeded in finding anything that would be radically different from what I am already doing. But I know that I should not have to feel this unhappy about my job every day. What can I do to feel better and motivate myself to turn my life around?

lexa10881 · Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 8:11 pm Post subject:

I am dealing with this problem myself right now. I had such a bad day at work the other day [my boss screaming, using obscenities, and basically not acting like the manager she should be] that I realised that I have fallen into a mix of a rut and a comfort zone that needs to be broken out of. I can do better, and you can too. Start by looking at jobs near the area you currently live in and decide how much time you are willing to spend commuting. Sounds like you could use a mini vacation also.

After everything that happened, my boss wound up apologising to me later in the evening but I just gave her a blank stare and the silent treatment. Not to be juvenile, but when I get angry I have a hard time restraining myself and this time I kept my cool. Enough is enough, time for you and I to both do something to make some changes.

http://www.cvtips.com/preparing_to_resign.html

bibliophile1969 · Newbie Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 3 Career Advice: +0/-0

Hi lexa10881,
Thanks for your support. In my case, it's not the screaming boss that is driving me insane (that was once the case, but then the boss left) but a deep and disturbing sense that people are upto all kinds of intrigues and mind games. It's all very subtle. I'm in a fairly senior position, but I feel like persona non grata because I'm not with the 'in crowd'. I hate the isolation and the feeling that people are gossipping about me or saying mean things behind my back. I have an offer waiting for me, but it's in another city. I'd have to relocate lock, stock, and barrel, and I've been hesitating over that for the last 6 months.
Good luck in your search.

julian · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 255 Career Advice: +2/-0

It's commodity and fear of unknown I think. Also....some tiny grain of paranoia Very Happy

I'm not saying you're disturbed...you're just extremely suspicious. You might be right, you might be building a wrong impression.
I think you need some time off to relax.
Also, I think that if you're not comfortable with your current job, you should try searching for something else. What's the use of going insane for nothing?

http://www.cvtips.com/before_job_search.html

bibliophile1969 · Newbie Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 3 Career Advice: +0/-0

Well, it's hard to know whether one is right or just plain paranoid in such situations, isn't it? I'm not really in a position to just "quit" because I feel unhappy around some of my co-workers, because aside from these personal issues, the job itself is a good one -- fairly prestigious, senior level, the work is important, and at a higher level I am well thought of. I have done well here so far. But I've never felt what you could call relaxed or comfortable around the people I work with. There's always some tension about something or the other, personality conflicts, differences of opinion, and over time, these things have just worn me down and left me feeling exhausted, frustrated, depressed, unhappy, angry . . . you name it. I've tried meditation, exercise, positive thinking, etc., and these have help me tide over the bad periods in the short term. So my outlook fluctuates considerably. I've been on the brink of leaving several times, but finally decided to stay and try to get things to work. At the same time, I'm now of the view that I should keep looking and not feel afraid to try something new. The thing is, I've learned what I needed to learn at this job, and I want to learn something new now. That at least is a legitimate reason to look for a new job, isn't it?

Anyway, thanks for your inputs.

lexa10881 · Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:25 am Post subject:

Well...

If you think you need to explore options, you might do something small before you quit your job. I don't know what your work schedule is like but maybe try taking a class, or even on online course, in something you are mildly interested in and see if it appeals to you and you would like to push forward into a different career.

Then, consider a job change and if you can network any of your current contacts. As for the feelings about mind games, that can be usual office politics and it DOES happen. That is just a normal work environment, unfortunately.

http://www.cvtips.com/career_change.html

dorothea · Expert Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 123 Career Advice: +1/-0

Some people can go on with their work just fine even if the relationships with the co-workers are not quite good. They manage to detach their professional capabilities from the working environment and get the tasks they are given to the end, successfully. The problem appears when everything going wrong at work affects your ability to complete these tasks and affects your ability to conduct peaceful relationships in other areas of your life.
My point is that you shouldn't leave a job just because you do not get along with co-workers at times. I mean a job is not something easy to find, especially a well paid one...you say you have a lot of favorable conditions.
Mature people know how to handle things in such way in which they do not mess up their personal and professional life.
But also...I agree that when you feel you need to make a change in your life, you gotta do it.

http://www.cvtips.com/survive_office_politics.html

Randy · Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:10 pm Post subject: Re: Stuck in a Rut

quote="bibliophile1969"

but I've been with this company for a few years...I am unhappy where I am because I can't deal with the people politics and the work pressure...I feel friendless and unfulfilled at work. It's basically the loneliness I feel at work....I JUST HATE THE COMPANY I WORK FOR.

Two different things going on here at once.

The "company" is NOT the same as your boss and co-workers. If the "company" is half-way decent, as in wages, benefits, etc, you might want to reconsider.

It IT sucks as much as do the co-workers and everything else, well, you're rather screwed and you might as well pack it up and move on. But it's going to suck everywhere you go. You just have to hope the next one sucks less.

Very Happy

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