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stevetampaman
Newbie
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Posts: 1
Career Advice: +0/-0
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 Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 6:36 pm Post subject: can somebody help |
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I have been out of the job for a month and I need something quick. I am not getting even call backs or email responses which is making me think its my resume. Can someone have a look? Construct Critiscm wanted 
John Doe
xxxxxxxxxxx fake street
Mobile Phone: 813-
Secondary Phone: 813-
E-mail: xxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Personal Motto,
Do best you can everyday. The rest will fall into place.
Objectives,
Steady work in a fast paced growing environment with opportunity for advancement.
To learn more and build on my current skillset.
Work Expierence:
Quality Assurance Compliance Manager
xxxxxxxxxxx| Tampa, FL
Government and Military
(July 2008 – June 2009)
Cradle to grave Quality Assurance Coordinator for 5 Billion dollar Dollar (SNAP)Sipr-Nipr Access Point Deployable Satelitte Terminal for the US army.
Technical responsibilities.
Flashing EEPROMS
Deploying, Troubleshooting VSAT Terminals in the parking lot.
Configuring 2811 Cisco Router Terminals to customer Spec.
Validating data on airtime with the teleport hub in Annapolis.
Setting up all antenna in parking lot and testing.
Developing software for use with Satelitte Terminals
Administrative Responsibilites
First Article inspection of all materials incoming for SNAP, MITT programs
Bill of Material parts Review
Redline of process documents changing with configuration manage
Parts procurement
ISO mapping
MRB, Non conforming material review (Bi Weekly)
Return's (RMA)
DCMA Responsibilities
Ensuring Unique ID registration
All equipment was organized to DCMA standards for acceptance
All information on Certificates of Conformance
DCMA inspection acceptance and auditing.
Description:
As Quality Assurance for a large scale government project my responsibilities were all over the manufacturing spectrum.
From RF equipment testing confirmation to first article of metal work and creation of work instructions.
My responsibility was end to end quality supervision of the SNAP project. From first article incoming inspection metal work matching it to a drawing, to configuring routers, to troubleshooting and demonstrating the final product government auditors.
I was also very active with the Returns and procurement process. Following up with vendors and using corrective action request items. I was also responsible for Defect Density Reports in Excel. Number of Defects per build, per system, per program. Cost. Analysis, capturing, and storing of Data. Working with Program Management and production staff on a weekly basis to ensure an on time delivery of a product with maximum quality.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
Senior Rework / Repair Tech
xxxxxxxxxx | Tampa, FL
Medical Devices and Supplies
2006-2008
Technical Responsibilites
•Pad Repairs
•SMT component Repairs
•Solder Repairs
•Mods
•Trace cuts
•Experimental builds prototype builds
My main responsibility was fixing non conforming products, redlining process documents metcal calibrationand, general quality overview of Line 3.
Our shift lacked a supervisor or adequate personel. I was more than happy to step up into area's where i was needed or asked. Mainly first article inspection and supervisory roles.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxxxxx
1 2005 - 8 2005
Tampa Florida
automotive salesman
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxxxx
2 2004 - 12 2004
Pleasant Prairie Wisconsin
Hand Assembly and ERSA line operator.Responsibility was daily cleaning of solder wave and placing correct components before the wave solder machine.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxxx
Racine Wisconsin
Years 2003-2003
General temporary Labor at the waxdale facility.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxx
Burlington Wisconsin
Years 2001-2003 part time
Volunteer Program Director for cub scout at risk youth program
.
Education
Gateway Technical College
Racine Wisconsin.
Computer Programming – 2 Year
Computer Hardware – 2 Year
High School Diploma
Other Skills
•Government audit compliance
•Class 3, Mil-Spec Solder inspection
•Documentation
•Government Shipping regulations
•Programming Scripts, Basic, Vbasic
•RF microwave troubleshooting
•Visio
•Database
•Word 2007
•Excel 2007
•Open Office
References will be provided on request. |
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Pauloz
Expert
Joined: 02 Oct 2007
Posts: 1160
Career Advice: +3/-0
Location: Sydney
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| Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:34 am Post subject: |
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stevetampaman
Thanks for not posting the contacts, much appreciated. In case you're wondering, the big gaps and spaces in your post come from this blog-type software.
This reads like you're highly experienced in your field, just not a pro writer. Comments in italics, suggestions below.
| Quote: | John Doe
xxxxxxxxxxx fake street
Mobile Phone: 813-
Secondary Phone: 813-
E-mail: xxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Personal Motto,
Do best you can everyday. The rest will fall into place.
Leave out second sentence. Unless they've worked in the military, or somewhere effort and patience is required, they won't get this.
Objectives,
Steady work in a fast paced growing environment with opportunity for advancement.
To learn more and build on my current skillset.
Too neutral/ passive. Needs something like "A career in...., obtaining the skills, qualifications, guidance and experience required to... Target this spiel to the job and the related industry. The point is that you need to hit all the buttons, show motivation.
Work Expierence:
Work history, not work experience. It sounds like you were doing all this stuff from high school, and devalues the work. Always check spelling. Nitpicking, I know, but you need to look good, all the time, during the application process.
Quality Assurance Compliance Manager (Use bold type for headings and job titles, has more impact.)
xxxxxxxxxxx| Tampa, FL
Government and Military
(July 2008 – June 2009)
Cradle to grave Quality Assurance Coordinator for 5 Billion dollar Dollar (SNAP)Sipr-Nipr Access Point Deployable Satelitte Terminal for the US army.
Whole product life Quality Assurance, etc., is better. Terminology matters with pedants. The trouble is that they run everything on rails, and don't necessarily pick up on content.
Technical responsibilities.
Flashing EEPROMS
Deploying, Troubleshooting VSAT Terminals in the parking lot. (Parking lot? Don't credit the reader with undue levels of intelligence. Spell out VSAT, leave out the parking lot.)
Configuring 2811 Cisco Router Terminals to customer Spec. (Brand names are good. Use where you can, they'll recognize names like Cisco.)
Validating data on airtime with the teleport hub in Annapolis. (Systems data validation Annapolis?)
Setting up all antenna in parking lot and testing. (Receivers/ something more upmarket would look cooler.)
Developing software for use with Satelitte Terminals (Expand on this in your cover letter. Space is an issue on resumes, use brief but clear descriptions and relate to the jobs with this material.)
Administrative Responsibilites
First Article inspection of all materials incoming for SNAP, MITT programs
Bill of Material parts Review
Redline of process documents changing with configuration manage
Parts procurement
ISO mapping
MRB, Non conforming material review (Bi Weekly)
Return's (RMA)
DCMA Responsibilities
Ensuring Unique ID registration
All equipment was organized to DCMA standards for acceptance
All information on Certificates of Conformance
DCMA inspection acceptance and auditing.
General comment: Kill the abbreviations. Use the full name, with the abbreviation in brackets. Spell everything out for a non tech reader, only include information directly relevant to the jobs.
Description:
As Quality Assurance for a large scale government project my responsibilities were all over the manufacturing spectrum.
From RF equipment testing confirmation to first article of metal work and creation of work instructions.
My responsibility was end to end quality supervision of the SNAP project. From first article incoming inspection metal work matching it to a drawing, to configuring routers, to troubleshooting and demonstrating the final product government auditors.
I was also very active with the Returns and procurement process. Following up with vendors and using corrective action request items. I was also responsible for Defect Density Reports in Excel. Number of Defects per build, per system, per program. Cost. Analysis, capturing, and storing of Data. Working with Program Management and production staff on a weekly basis to ensure an on time delivery of a product with maximum quality.
A non tech would be lost after the word "Description". Remember, you're writing to recruiters and HR people, not necessarily tech supervisors. Put first two sentences after "auditor", it reads better, turn all of that into one paragraph.
The last paragraph should go into a cover letter, and there's a slight grammar problem. Suggest: "I was also very active with the returns and procurement process, following up with vendors and using corrective action methods." Otherwise, it's a fragment, and even if people know what it means, it doesn't look as good.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
Senior Rework / Repair Tech Exact job titles are required. Just spell everything out for them.
xxxxxxxxxx | Tampa, FL
Medical Devices and Supplies
2006-2008
Technical Responsibilites
•Pad Repairs
•SMT component Repairs
•Solder Repairs
•Mods
•Trace cuts
•Experimental builds prototype builds
My main responsibility was fixing non conforming products, redlining process documents metcal calibrationand, general quality overview of Line 3.
Our shift lacked a supervisor or adequate personel. I was more than happy to step up into area's where i was needed or asked. Mainly first article inspection and supervisory roles.
Single paragraph, spelling, etc. Simpler layout is also easier to edit.
All this stuff below, before education: Unless relevant to a particular job, leave out. The voluntary work needs to be in "Personal interests" in the layout I'm putting in Suggestions below the quote.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxxxxx
1 2005 - 8 2005
Tampa Florida
automotive salesman
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxxxx
2 2004 - 12 2004
Pleasant Prairie Wisconsin
Hand Assembly and ERSA line operator.Responsibility was daily cleaning of solder wave and placing correct components before the wave solder machine.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxxx
Racine Wisconsin
Years 2003-2003
General temporary Labor at the waxdale facility.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
xxxxxxx
Burlington Wisconsin
Years 2001-2003 part time
Volunteer Program Director for cub scout at risk youth program
.
Education
Gateway Technical College
Racine Wisconsin.
Computer Programming – 2 Year (Always spell out qualifications, degree, etc.)
Computer Hardware – 2 Year
High School Diploma
Other Skills (Fit as required to Skills in layout below)
•Government audit compliance
•Class 3, Mil-Spec Solder inspection
•Documentation
•Government Shipping regulations
•Programming Scripts, Basic, Vbasic
•RF microwave troubleshooting
•Visio
•Database
•Word 2007
•Excel 2007
•Open Office
References will be provided on request. |
What this information boils down to is that you're highly qualified and experienced. That's the message that needs to get to employers. You shouldn't actually be having any trouble getting work, but this resume, in its current form, won't help.
Suggestions:
Layout:
Objectives
Skills
Work history
Education
Personal interests
References
Do all of the work history on standard formats. It's a lot more manageable and easier to read:
Job title
Employer
Duties/responsibilities
Achievements (include that $5 billion, they need to see you've worked on big budgets)
Skills:
You could write a library, obviously, so stick to your proven skills, and use the same terminology as in the job ads for essential criteria. These apps get scanned by computers for keywords, and you've got too much tech info for the average recruiter to fathom. This is a screening process, and it's designed to get people off lists of candidates. Think "checklist", when looking at essential job criteria.
Your resume reads like you could walk into NASA or JPL and not be lost for long. You have skills which are very much in demand. You're dealing with upmarket employers, if you go for jobs at your skill levels, and your applications have to be top of the heap. You really have to do some work on presentation. If you get really stuck, get a professional CV writer to hammer it all out for you, when you're going for a job you really want. Recruiters can also help, but you need recruiters with proven track records in your field. You're in the right state to find them, at least, so check out who can do what for you.
Important: With your skill levels, some networking might do a lot more, a lot faster, than job ads. Check with your services and industry contacts, see what they know. Don't let this job market run your life for you, because it's a mess. Professional sites may or may not be useful, because of budget issues, but you can stay in the loop pretty easily. They do have job ads, and usually forums, where you can get information direct from the horse's mouth.
Hope that helps, |
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C_Vaughan
Expert
Joined: 09 Oct 2005
Posts: 202
Career Advice: +0/-0
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:19 pm Post subject: |
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I'm just going to give a short and sweet response. Can you lose some of the military jargon? Most folks don't understand what all of that means and if you are transferring to a non-military position, that can be off-putting. I know as I went through this with my husband.
Just a thought... |
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Jennifer107
Junior Member
Joined: 22 Apr 2009
Posts: 18
Career Advice: +1/-0
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| Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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Hello,
One important thing I noticed is that your objective needs to be re-worded. It's one of the first things that the employer will see and this is where you want to tell them what you plan on doing for them, not what you hope to gain.
For example:
"WRONG: Job Seeker-Focused
OBJECTIVE: A position in corporate procurement in the retail industry that can utilize five years of negotiating and research skills and eventually lead to a management-level role.
RIGHT: Employer-Focused
OBJECTIVE: A position in corporate procurement that can utilize skills in research and negotiating gained from 5 years of experience in another industry, helping a retailer cut costs and improve its competitive position."
I hope this helps you...here is a link to a full post about resume objectives and summaries and which one you should use...
Jen
http://www.pongoresume.com/blogPosts/217/resume-objective-or-summary-you-need-one-but-which-.cfm |
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ericf
Newbie
Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Posts: 4
Career Advice: +0/-0
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