| Author |
Message |
thexlnc
Newbie
Joined: 15 Oct 2008
Posts: 1
Career Advice: +0/-0
|
 Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: Can someone plz have a look at my covering letter |
 |
|
Hi everyone,
I'm a native speaker but have been living in Germany for 16 yrs now. I've written a covering letter in English and could really do with some tips as I have no experience whatsoever in writing applications in English. Any help is well appreciated. Thx a bunch
BTW the position is fashion-related
Dear Sirs and Madams,
I am responding to your advertisement on your European Homepage for the position of Junior Operations Manager at the Corporate Head Office in Amsterdam.
The described position and responsibilities are very appealing to me. I have been able to gather 5 years of work experience in various economic branches, mainly in Sales departments. My position as Event Manager with (xx) in (xx) gave great insights into market research, creative planning, budget management and post-event analysis.
Through the sales position within the recently opened Radisson SAS Hotel in (xx), I have a considerable amount of experience with customers, including CEO level, to show for. Being part of a newly created sales team with unlimited opportunities supplied me with a very positive attitude towards my work, consantly focussing on ways to improve present operations.
I am currently working as International Sales Manager at (xx). My responsibilities include handling all contracts with foreign customers, developing new business areas, aquiring clients from overseas, aswell as buying and selling of fuels. Futhermore the opportunity to build a department for e-commerce from scratch, which is turning out to be a great success after just one year, granted me experience in adminstrative and managerial tasks.
I strive to merge as many attributes as possible into a productive and constructive work method. Operating in various environments and jobs, in different countries and with multi-national colleagues has allowed me to study, learn and adopt various work mentalities.
A position within the (xx) family is an absolute dream for me. I am huge fan of the classic collection, as it ultimately represents preciesly how I like to see my work methods. Elegant, classic and well-etablished styles, essentially fusioning with sportive, casual and modern designs to a timeless piece, unfazed by temporary prevailing trends.
My aim to relocate to the Netherlands is funded in the fact, that I highly rate the Dutch way of working. Over the years business relations with Dutch contractors and suppliers have certainly been the most pleasant, aswell as being successful. Further taking my Irish origin into account, the close vicintiy of the North Sea is an extra treat.
Challenging tasks, unlimited horizons and ultimately the possibility to prosper are essentially what I expect in a position, hopefully as the newest member of the (xx) family. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
|
|
petereff
New User
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 12
Career Advice: +0/-0
|
| Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:41 pm Post subject: Re: Can someone plz have a look at my covering letter |
|
|
| thexlnc wrote: | Hi everyone,
I'm a native speaker but have been living in Germany for 16 yrs now. I've written a covering letter in English and could really do with some tips as I have no experience whatsoever in writing applications in English. Any help is well appreciated. Thx a bunch
BTW the position is fashion-related
Dear Sirs and Madams,
I am responding to your advertisement on your European Homepage for the position of Junior Operations Manager at the Corporate Head Office in Amsterdam.
The described position and responsibilities are very appealing to me. I have been able to gather 5 years of work experience in various economic branches, mainly in Sales departments. My position as Event Manager with (xx) in (xx) gave great insights into market research, creative planning, budget management and post-event analysis.
Through the sales position within the recently opened Radisson SAS Hotel in (xx), I have a considerable amount of experience with customers, including CEO level, to show for. Being part of a newly created sales team with unlimited opportunities supplied me with a very positive attitude towards my work, consantly focussing on ways to improve present operations.
I am currently working as International Sales Manager at (xx). My responsibilities include handling all contracts with foreign customers, developing new business areas, aquiring clients from overseas, aswell as buying and selling of fuels. Futhermore the opportunity to build a department for e-commerce from scratch, which is turning out to be a great success after just one year, granted me experience in adminstrative and managerial tasks.
I strive to merge as many attributes as possible into a productive and constructive work method. Operating in various environments and jobs, in different countries and with multi-national colleagues has allowed me to study, learn and adopt various work mentalities.
A position within the (xx) family is an absolute dream for me. I am huge fan of the classic collection, as it ultimately represents preciesly how I like to see my work methods. Elegant, classic and well-etablished styles, essentially fusioning with sportive, casual and modern designs to a timeless piece, unfazed by temporary prevailing trends.
My aim to relocate to the Netherlands is funded in the fact, that I highly rate the Dutch way of working. Over the years business relations with Dutch contractors and suppliers have certainly been the most pleasant, aswell as being successful. Further taking my Irish origin into account, the close vicintiy of the North Sea is an extra treat.
Challenging tasks, unlimited horizons and ultimately the possibility to prosper are essentially what I expect in a position, hopefully as the newest member of the (xx) family. |
Your letter is pretty good, covering as it does, most of the requirements of a covering letter. However, what is over-emphasized is what this position will do for you, whereas the emphasis should be on what you can do for them.
Get the balance right by replacing your 'responsibilities' with accomplishments and show how they will make you a valuable contributor.
Good Luck! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Bill S
Junior Member
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Posts: 27
Career Advice: +0/-0
Location: South Waverly
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|
Register
Log in
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
