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ank06 · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 248 Career Advice: +1/-0

Funny, isn't it? I'm talking about my friend, Anna. We've known each other since we were kids and I admit she's the most responsible of us. But she'g gone quite far this time. She's working in a big company in my city....for 5 months now. It's not that I don't respect her choice, I'm working myself there, but I still find time for me, my family and my friends.
To me, it seems that Anna is sacrificing her spare time on behalf of her job. Her personal life? Pfff! Never had a boyfriend since graduating. Her social life? Let's just say that when I'm clubbing she's...well....doing some voluntary work for our company. And we used to have some fun!
I don't want you to think I'm gelous, because I'm not. I'm a manager and she's a secretary, I've been there for 1 year now and she's there for 5 months. I'm responsible, but she's exagerating with her responsibility. Not to mention that her boss has "smelled" her for hard working and makes her do all kinds of things.

Give me some ideas...your answer can be funny, responsible, courageous, I don't care...I just need some ideas!

Robin · Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 12:49 pm Post subject: Go with the flow ...

Let her do what she wants, just as she apparently lets you do what you want. People tend to do what makes them happy. If she's happy being a workaholic, then that's her choice.

Good friends don't try to run their friends' lives. Instead, they encourage and support them to be the best they can at what they do. My guess is she'll get tired once the novelty wears off and return to her usual self.

lilo · Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:16 pm Post subject:

Robin's opinion is sooo serious. I mean you are right, Robin, but still...I dount that ank06 is trying to ruin that girls' life.I don't know if Anna is so happy doing so much work for her boss.
Allright...here's my opinion....there is indeed a problem in here and this is social and individual isolation, which is not that good. Most psychologists agree that a person becomes workaholic out of a sense of inferiority. It's obvious that Anna is at the beginning now. Persons who are equilibrated can make an easy difference between work, social and personal life. Unfortunately, sometimes one of them must predomine in the others' disadvantage.
It's called THE 21ST CENTURY DISEASE. It can be fought against by having a realistic perspective on life's priorities.

However, you should take Anna easy and at first you should stick to her and accept her the way she is. She'll realise later what her priorities are. I'm sure she just needs you to be her friend, not another person messing with her mind. Am I right?

ank06 · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 248 Career Advice: +1/-0

Of course I'm not trying to ruin her life, and of course I'm not the only one observing she's too much into her work. Even her mother told me I should take her out more often. Besides...it's Anna who complains about her boss overweighting her with papers over papers over papers....she's not happy doing that extra work...she's doing it because she thinks she'll get fired if she didn't.

Allrighty...I got the idea and I admit I have to take her easy. I'm going to do that (not that I intended otherwise). I just spoke to her last night and asked her "why are you working so hard?" and she said "I'm trying to do my best to show I'm good at what I'm doing and this is the way I can actually do this. By working hard"

I mean she agrees with me saying that she'e often too tired to go out and that her spare time is often occupied with work...but she sais she's afraid to try another way because she's not as confident as others are. This is where I realized Robin was right when saying I need to support her in what she's doing...

Katja144 · Expert Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 176 Career Advice: +2/-0

It might just be that...this is what she needs to do. My boyfriend's also a workaholic and while he doesn't always like it, he also can't change for several reasons, including some of those you gave as Anna's. Some people just feel that unless they're running themselves into the ground and giving everything they absolutely can--and I mean everything, to the exclusion of everything else in their lives, that they're not doing a good job in the workplace. I personally feel it's misguided, but who's to say they don't see me, you, and the rest of us as slackers?

If it's really bothering her, though, maybe seeing a counselor or therapist will help her see that she doesn't HAVE to do this. Another resource is your boss--does s/he think Anna's working too hard as well, or does s/he encourage Anna to do this and take advantage of Anna's somewhat-paranoid mindset? If the former, maybe your boss could explain to her that she does NOT have to do this to be successful at the company, and maybe then Anna will be able to rest easier at night.

ank06 · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 248 Career Advice: +1/-0

Katja, thank you, your words make perfect sense to me. You're right, it's in their nature to do so.
About the boss...he's just satisfied...He's totally passive when it comes to the person Anna and totally active and demanding when it comes to the secretary Anna. See, I can't tell you whether he id content with what she does there, cause he never tells anyone "i have the best secretary ever"....still, he is not rude (verbally or in gestures) with her...he said "thank you", he said "Anna, do you think you can....?"...so this is why I'm assuming he is not interested whether she can actually take more than she already does...he's just satisfied she answers "Sure I can" (and Anna is not the person to say "No"). I guess that finally it's in her to leanr how to make her point sometimes....

maximteo · Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 5:18 pm Post subject:

Is this her first job or something ? Sometimes people have the tendencies to work extra hard during the first 6 months, some wanna appear to be on the ball, be responsible, get in good books of bosses and peers that they can work and are not slackers.

Imagine having started a job for say 2 months and I'm showing signs of slacking..doesn't quite give a good impression to your mates or your bosses right? Wats more is that most companies do impose a probation period of at least 3mths. Mine's 6 mths Sad

So imho, not saying your friend belongs to this category, its about being able to show/prove that you are hard working, effective, efficient, responsible..etc so that in the first appraisal with your boss, you'd get a positive, more constructive feedback.

KA · Expert Joined: 26 Mar 2006 Posts: 231 Career Advice: +2/-0

May be you can explain to her " working smart not working hard". Also you can explain to her that if she does more than she needs to, work extra hours... etc., it becomes expected of her to do so for the long term.

Try the gradual approach & hopefully with time she will get the message.

ank06 · Expert Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 248 Career Advice: +1/-0

thanks guys, for your opinions...

Maximteo, as I stated before, it's in her nature to be like that because she cannot handle things otherway...me I'm not a slack, but I am a more relaxed person and tend to think more...pragmatically... I can say I'm in KA's category "Work smart"...sure, there are times when you have to work hard, and we do that in our company, but I was just worried cause it is something that was turning permanent with Anna.... We had our talks and eventually I understood her and...believe it or not, she went out again with us on the Halloween....
Working hard it's part of her lifestyle...now. I don't know later Smile

Richard · Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 1:12 pm Post subject:

If you're a manager, can you not speak with her manager on an equal basis and express your concern that she's working too hard? It's all well and good being a workaholic but trying to do too much will inevitably end up in spreading oneself too thinly at the expense of quality.

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