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I from Germany need your help
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sunny2007
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Posts: 3
Career Advice: +0/-0

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 6:42 pm    Post subject: I from Germany need your help Reply with quote

Hi everybody ^^,

I would like to work or intern in the USA. therefor I wrote a coer letter and a resume. Now I need the help of native speakers to check my spelling and grammer.
I wold be very happy if someone of you would do it for me.
I know it is a hard job to check spelling and grammer. So I say thank you now^^. Smile

Here my cover letter:

Dear Company Representative,

I play for a long time xxxxx and xxxxx From your company's web site www.xxxxxx.com I learned about your need for a bilingual Technical Support Representative for your customer service center in Irvine, California. I am very interested in this position, and believe that my education, employment and volunteering background are appropriate for the position.

My Name is xxxx. I graduated from the University of xxx in Germany with a Master’s Degree in Computer Science.
Here I dealt with different fields of Computer Science like computer hardware and networking. During my study I operated with the operating systems Windows and Linux/Unix.

I am very friendly, energetic, flexible, patient, motivated and helpful as my Work Experience and Volunteering indicate in my resume. So I worked a long time as a social tutor at the University of xxxx supporting foreign students there. Furthermore I trained Pupils at school in handling personal computer and application programs. I also manage the community www.xxxxx.com and support the members having technical problems and more. Moreover I have a big interest in playing role-playing, strategic life-simulation and real-time strategy computer games. So I have a long time experience with the Games, knightfight, Sims, Sims II, Secondlife, and Empire Earth II. With this big experience in different games I am able to get in new games very fast.

I speak three languages, German, Persian (Iranian) and English. This and my experience in supporting members, students and also pupils would allow me to support customers with these languages and different age groups.
The unique and interactive xxxxx games made me seeking for Jobs on your web site. Here my goal is to support and help the Customers of xxx products to satisfy them. Furthermore I would like to make them playing and enjoying the games without problems. For this reason I would like to do an internship or get this position in your company.
Please note, that I will arrange my own visa as well as health and accident insurance through CIEE. I also will adjust housing by myself.

Thank you for your consideration of my request. I hope that there may be an opportunity to join your firm. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
If you would you like to discuss my interest in this position or my qualifications further, please call me at xxxxx. You can also contact me at the email address xxxx.
I will be available at your convenience.
Please remember that my resume is added as attachment to this email.

Sincerely,
my name

Now my Resume:

Name:

Home Address:

Phone:
Mobile:
E-mail:
Gender: Female
Marital status: Single
Nationality: German

Objective: A responsible internship, part-time or full-time position as a Technical Support Representative where I can leverage my experience and languages I can to support and help the Customers of xxxx products to satisfy them and make them enjoying the games without problems.

Education: University of xxxxx; Master of Science Degree in
Computer Science with mark “B".

Work Experience:

Part-time job
firmxxxx, Inc., Munich (Germany)
September 2007 to now
Developing Websites und Blogs by Wordpress and training the employees in editing Wordpress

Social Tutor at IO (Interational Office) of the University of xxxxx
September 2005 to now
Supported foreign students in settling in Germany and finding jobs, in Addition organized social events and parties for them. This project cooperates with DAAD (German Academic Exchange Service).

Student assistant at the University of xxxxx
August to December 2006
Developing Html/CSS Webpages

Part-time Job
firmxxx, Inc., munich (Germany)
April 2005 to April 2006
Evaluating the Software called xxxxx on Linux and Windows operating System. Duties included developing small programs in C, C++, JAVA and Python and representing the System Bauhaus on Cebit 2006.

Tutor at Highschool
April 2005 to April 2006
Training pupils in building, programming and transforming the Programs on Legomindstorms.

Student assistant at the University of xxxxx
July 2004 to December 2004
Developed Forms in PHP working with Excel.

Student assistant at the University of xxxxxx
June 2003 July 2003
Analyzing technical documentations to find out how to write a good
technical documentation.

Internship at the University of Campinas in Brazil
October 2004 to December 2004
Occupied with designing and programming of an e-learning website with PHP and Html.


Honors and Activities:
- Develop and administer the Community www.xxxxxx.com created in typo3. Here on one hand I mange the
community. On the other hand I support the members having technical
problems. Furthermore I am responsible for the content.
- Member of the Organisation IAESTE (The International Association for the
Exchange of Students for Technical Experience), which supports foreign
students

Computer Skills:


Languages/Databases: MySQL, PHP, HTML and Java Applets, CSS
Operating Systems: Linux/Unix, Windows
Tools: Xampp (Apache, MySql, PHP), wamp (Apache, MySql, PHP), Content Management System (Typo3, Wordpress)
Software: MS Office, Adobe Photoshop, Corel Draw
Network and Protocol: TCP/IP, http

Other Skills:

Languages: German (excellent)
Persian (excellent)
English (reading and audible understanding)

References: Available upon request
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lexa10881
Expert
Expert


Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 1526
Career Advice: +0/-0
Location: Ohio

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A little long but otherwise not bad. Do not forget to keep your cover letter short and concise. And spell check is not a bad idea. Seems ok to me other than being a little bit on the long side.

http://www.cvtips.com/resume_employer_needs.html
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sunny2007
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Posts: 3
Career Advice: +0/-0

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 8:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you very much lexa10881 for your reply.

I have an other question. Did you maybe finde any linguistic mistakes? Or maby sentences you dont use in English?


thx Smile
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