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Lucy_lou · Newbie Joined: 11 Jan 2008 Posts: 2 Career Advice: +0/-0

Hello readers.

I was just wondering about a phenomenon I've noticed in the workplace and other environments where people on a similar career path come together (e.g. uni), and it's that guys often make more effort to network with other guys than with the women (e.g. me), and I've noticed in some situations a guy will ignore me to the point that it seems deliberate and talk only with the guys. I'll see them shaking hands, giving one another a lot of eye contact and recognition, and I don't receive any of that. It's not like I don't make an effort. If you are a guy, and you are ambitious in your career, do you think this ever happens? Can you tell me what this phenomenon is? I think I am as smart, career focussed and ambitious as most others and often more, but I sometimes experience this kind of exclusion from guys who I would expect to have a lot of reason to be talking shop with. I am in a slightly male dominated field, and feel that perhaps it is my gender which is going to cause me somewhat of an obstacle because of what I suspect may be the formation of boys clubs in the workplace. Am I paranoid?
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lexa10881 · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 2:53 am Post subject:

Of course your gender will be an obstacle, and guys do engage in this kind of behavior. Women do it too. It is just human nature. There is not a whole lot you can do to stop it, except try to actively engage them in conversation. And since they seem to want to exclude you as one of the guys, you are going to have to ditch any shy qualities that you may have and be the one who is forward. But you can do it. Laughing

http://www.cvtips.com/job_networking.html

Lucy_lou · Newbie Joined: 11 Jan 2008 Posts: 2 Career Advice: +0/-0

That sounds like sound advice. Thanks! Smile

Randy · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:38 pm Post subject:

It's testosterone-driven madness. It's the lingering conditioning of centuries of one generation passing down to the next that men are superior. It's all the stuff that men want to deny but is, in varying degrees, still very true. It's guys mocking and ridiculing two men for holding hands but cheering along as two men pat each other's butts after scoring a touchdown. It's the absolute certainty that all of life is a competition, that winning is everything and to the victor goes the spoils.

You have your work cut out, that's for sure. One-up them and you're a bi*ch. Try to avoid that label and you'll be seen as good enough only to fix coffee.

And yes, all the previous are generalizations and I'm certain you understand that. It's been most refreshing in my lifetime to watch the positive impact on society in general, and men in particular, that women have had as they've followed their careers. But "barefoot and pregnant" is indeed still very much alive.

You'll do fine simply because you're already aware of it. Think of the people, men and women, who remain oblivious and therefore constantly worried, upset, and angry about it?

lexa10881 · Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:52 am Post subject:

Yes, I think you will be fine because you seem very attuned to the faux pas others seem to be making and will not be one of those people who partake in office games. But hopefully you enjoy watching the men make fools of themselves and enjoy every second!

http://www.cvtips.com/survive_office_politics.html

Pauloz · Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:31 pm Post subject:

Lucy lou

Randy's maybe being a bit polite. They're morons. They lack talent and fear the talent of others, and have to network because they're practically unemployable.

If it wasn't for cliches and agreeing with other people they wouldn't be able to hold a conversation about the weather. You're not missing much.

If you've ever wondered how so many obvious idiots get into positions they clearly can't handle, this is how.

Usually there's an Alpha Gerbil around somewhere, that's the person to talk to, if you can stand it. The others will then talk to you.

In the workplace, a mild antihistamine will generally counteract the effects of their presence.

lexa10881 · Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:49 am Post subject:

Pauloz, I think you just made my day!!! Very Happy

After beating my head against the wall and wondering why I am the 'baby' at work but I have the most responsibility.....and why I am not allowed to physically kick people's butts if I need to, but...

All in a managerial kinda day, I guess.

But, if we did not have those immature, whacked-out, freakish people then there would not be so much info on this site or so many interesting posts like this one to read!!!

http://www.cvtips.com/hidden_job_market_networking.html

Pauloz · Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:29 pm Post subject:

My pleasure, lexa.

It is fun, isn't it? Laughing

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