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Bibi06 Newbie

Joined: 15 Oct 2009 Posts: 1 Career Advice: +0/-0

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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 2:24 pm Post subject: Please Improve: Content, language, grammar and spelling |
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Hi!
I recently moved to another country with my husband, which is the reason I am searching for a job now. I wrote this cover letter for a Project manager position. I also worked as consultant for local and foreign investors and I listed some of the projects I worked with in my CV (it was mainly project writing for accessing different types of non-refundable grants). Do you think it is necessary to mention more about it in the cover letter aswell? How should I do that so that it won't be too long.
What do you think about this cover letter? What would you change/ improve/ delete?
Can you please also grammar and spellcheck it?
Thanks!
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Name Surname
Address
Dear Name Surname
This letter is to express my interest in the Project Manager Industrialization position listed on www.com. The opportunity presented in this listing is very appealing, and I believe that my experience and education will make me a competitive candidate for this position.
I have a bachelor degree in economics with major in Finance and Insurances at (X) University in City, Country. I presently attend a Master at the same University with major in Marketing and Management strategies and policies. The last semester will be finished in spring 2010.
My experience as a financial manager at a small insurance brokerage company has provided me with strong analytical and planning skills. Managing a company of that size was challenging but helped me develop my creative thinking in order to find inovative solutions according to its limited finances. I believe these skills are transferable to a project manager position at CompanyName.
I speak three languages on an advanced level – Romanian, German and English – and one on an intermediate level - Norwegian. I made use of all these languages at work while working as a consultant for foreign investors in Country.
I am a person that acts on own initiative and I am seen by my work colleagues as well as by my friends as a good organiser. I have good capacity to adapt to multicultural environments, gained throughout the studies, internships abroad and working with foreign companies. I am motivated, enthusiastic and a fast learner.
This position will offer me new challenges and will bring me a step forward in my career.
An interview would give me the chance to further prove my strengths.
I hope to hear from you shortly.
Yours Sincerely,
My name and surename |
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stormbind Junior Member

Joined: 19 Oct 2009 Posts: 19 Career Advice: +0/-0

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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:34 am Post subject: |
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In my scheme of things, cover letters reflects personal self-expression. Consequently, for me, it is a difficult item to critique. Furthermore, I am not an expert recruiter and I am just sharing my personal feelings.
There are some areas that you might consider expanding on. Specifically, you have not underscored why you are the person who will meet the concerns of the prospect. It may be that they have not given you much to work with. However, I would expect a cover letter to exploit something in the job description. For example, if they seek someone who is enthusiastic and disciplined, then you might give an example of when you have played that team role.
You did say that you are creative and innovate, but you did not explain what you did that was creative and innovative. Furthermore, I am also not sure what these qualities have to do with the challenging environment that you mentioned. Generously, a reader might deduce from the combination of challenging and innovative, that you remain calm under pressure. However, this is an unqualified deduction because it is not supported by an example. I just feel that your application could be stronger and more meaningful if it was backed up with examples.
Regarding your language. You often start your sentences with I, which is uncharacteristic of English speakers with an equivalent standard of education. However, this is a detail that I would overlook if your first language is given to be something else.
Good luck  |
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