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Black on Black · Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 6:14 pm Post subject: Suicide On My Mind

Please help me. I am almost 40 and despondent. I have 145 college credits almost all a's but no degree. I worked so hard thinking college was the answer but they basically taught me no real skills, took my money, and keep asking for more credits just to get a stupid general education degee. Every job I have had has been low paying. I get great reviews and 20 cents more to add to my usual $10/hr wage and after 1-3 years leave in misery with no talk of advancement. The most I ever made was 13.50/ hr and that company went out of business. I can't seem to make it and re-occurring thoughts of suicide are presently strong. I know if I had a job that I enjoyed and payed enough to survive my depression would lessen. Instead, every interview shows promise but little money and questions like "do you have a degree".... just kill me. I have more college credits and a higher gpa then the person behind the desk with a BA degree but it doesn't matter. My parents died when I was a boy so I worked my way through school but again......doesn't matter. Now I owe $9,000 in loans and can't seem to get a job flipping pizza for $8/hr. I want to kill myself but can't because I have a beautiful son and wife I don't want to leave alone like my parents did me. Still, I keep holding on thinking something will change and it never does. I am embarressed and jeolous of everyone. A real pity party I have going on. I had to right to make myself feel better. Please try to be happy with your life and love your family.

cv · Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:31 pm Post subject:

Life is not all about work !

Think about all the other things that can give you satisfaction. Helping others and learning other non work related skills. Drawing, photography etc.

I am not a mental health expert and I would strongly suggest you see a mental health professional. These people can help you, sometimes just admitting that there is a problem and talking it with some one helps.

503stan · Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:44 pm Post subject: Re:

Well-experience in being lay-off even makes me hopeless, but I still believe there is a way for me to go.I have no religion, all I 'm thinking about is to improve my situation.

My friends told me, "your English ability is good, you're competitive!!" In my country, if you are excellent at English or Spainish, you'll have many job opportunities than others.

But all I need is to improve my working effciency, interpersonal skills, computer skills, risk handling ability.

Randy · Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:51 am Post subject: Re: Suicide On My Mind

quote="Black on Black"

Hey, BOB....

Stay with me, okay? I'm going to take things a wee-bit out of order. Trust me--you and I are going to get along just fine and when I get done, you're going to feel a whole lot better. I promise! I'm 54--almost 55--looking for job #51 as I type this. So I ain't blowing smoke, okay?

...I have 145 college credits almost all a's but no degree. I worked so hard thinking college was the answer but they basically taught me no real skills, took my money, and keep asking for more credits just to get a stupid general education degee.

Yep, you fell for the big lie, didn't you? You know: "To get a good job get a good education." Don't worry. Lots of others did it, too. I know oodles of truck-drivers with all sorts of degrees in all sorts of fields.

You know what we need to do in this country? Demand a money-back guarantee on ALL college educations! I'm serious. The bastards promise you the moon, don't they? And then comes the reality check that the "system" works for some, but not others. On this board are those for whom college did indeed produce the desired results. There's also those for whom it's proven to be of no use whatsoever.

Here's what else I notice:

Guys like you and me complain--rightfully so--that employers these days care more about "formal education" than old-fashioned things like character and actual experience.

It's interesting, however, that when you read remarks from those with degrees who can't find employment, they insist that employers want experience over education.

Here's the real truth: Employers want people they like, period. More than degrees and qualifications and experience and everything else, it comes down to the same thing that you and I base our relationships on: Do I like this person? Face it: When the "experts" admit the decision to hire/not hire is usually made within the first five-minutes of the interview (and you would never have gotten to the interview had the potential employer been convinced of your qualifications because of your resume/application).....but when they admit the decision is made within five minutes? Well, you figure it out, right?

Every job I have had has been low paying. I get great reviews and 20 cents more to add to my usual $10/hr wage and after 1-3 years leave in misery with no talk of advancement.

And this country wonders why we've "bred an entitlement" mentality? See, it's not hard to figure out. We abolished slavery, gave it a new name, gave it power over all of us instead of just the black folks, and called it "business," corporate America. It's still about those at the top and those at the bottom and the total absence of any ethical considerations whatsoever.

As one former employer told me: "Here's the pay and here's the benefits. Don't like it, there's the door." I quit. Yet, on this board are those who still insist men like you and me "owe" the employer a two-weeks notice when we leave. Never.

And I don't know what part of the country you're in, but you perfectly described the scenario here in SW VA. $10.00/hr average wage. Anything over that is highly unusual. And damned lucky to get more than 2 per-cent in raises. And the new companies moving in will swear it's not because of lower wages. God bless the young people for giving us "Whatever."

And I'll tell you this right now: The ONLY people NOT angry about are those who are either already "there," or want to be! THOSE are the self-righteous, pompous, arrogant, patronizing jerks who would tell YOU that YOU "could" do better IF you would just "pull on those bootstraps" because (here we go) THIS IS THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITY."

ARGH

Those "opportunities" exist only for those blessed with the ability to put the pursuit of money ahead of everything else. Guys like you and me have this real problem. For lack of a better word, I just call it "ethcis." That means we do NOT put the love of money ahead of everything else and because of that WE pay the price.

So, in all fairness, you and should blame ourselves first, okay? But within that blame is also the self-satisifaction of knowing that we haven't stomped on anyone else to achieve that "American dream."

I can't seem to make it and re-occurring thoughts of suicide are presently strong.

Yep. Been that way a few times as well.

Just read about your son and wife. I've a wife and two daughters. Sitting at the piano one night (just a digital thing--nothing all that "expensive" and just something I swore I'd teach myself to do before I die)....Anyway, sitting there one night--just a couple of years ago, actually. And I'd finally decided to "do it," kill myself and be done with it.

Well, I was working on John Montgomery's song "I Swear." And the lyrics really, really hit me! "I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky, I'll be there...For better or worse, 'til death do us part, I'll love you with every beat of my heart...." Yeah, that's when I decided I'd live in a cardboard box with my family before I'd let those bastards "win."

You mention your son and wife. THAT'S what matters. You keep them first and the "universe" (God, fate, karma, the force, whatever) absolutely WILL "be there" for you.

Instead, every interview shows promise but little money and questions like "do you have a degree".... just kill me. I have more college credits and a higher gpa then the person behind the desk with a BA degree but it doesn't matter.

Right again. "They" may never say it, but here's how that works (and you already know it). On the one hand, your education is making you "over-qualified" for many jobs you'd be willing to take--IF they would offer it, right? At the same time, the ones YOU might really want the most? Oh, THEN you're "under qualified."

Men still like to ridicule the notions of a "glass ceiling" for women and racism against minorities. Well, when employers can and will use degrees, or lack of them, experience, or lack of it, for reasons to NOT hire, to NOT give raisies, etc., should any of else truly believe that "corporate America" really is nothing more than a lingering version of a "good ol' boys' club"? Only now it's not about race and gender as much as it is who's the best at playing the silliy games involved in geting a job, who's the best at conforming, compromising, and capitulating.

My parents died when I was a boy so I worked my way through school but again......doesn't matter.

Sadly, you're right! You've proven you have the qualities that DO matter: Character and integrity. And those are the qualities deemed to be of NO importance within the world of working in America. We substituted education for intelligence and medicority for excellence. And I've got a feeling that you're like me: You refuse to be "dumbed down" for the sake of a dollar!

Still, I keep holding on thinking something will change and it never does.

You're right. "It" ain't about to change. But you can and all I mean is you have to stop blaming yourself! You've done everything--far more than I ever even thought about doing--to play by THEIR rules. And "it" hasn't worked, has it? So, stop playing by THEIR rules!

Psycho-babble calls it "mindsets" and "postures" and all the rest. Again, whatever. Stop going into these places as somebody "looking" for a "job," as someone hoping someone else will "give" you a "job." You've sensed their arrogance and hypocrisies as much as I have, right? Well, they also can "sense" things. So,, use that against them. Here's what I mean:

What do "they" demand from us? I mean demand from the moment you "ask" for the job and the whole time you work for them? Right. They demand your "respect" because, from their point of view, they have "authority" over you. Now, here's the secret: They're so self-absorbed they confuse that "authority" with having "power" over your life. And no one else on this planet any true power at all over you--always and only to the degree that you "allow" them to have it.

So next time you talk to someone, don't do it from the "posture" of a job-applicant. Do so as if you were the CEO of your own company and YOU are THERE to INTERVIEW THEM! I.E., these folks live and die, again, for "respect for authority." Well, you walk there as THE "authority" figure over your life and you damned well better know they WILL "sense" that..and they WILL respond to it.

Note: Subtle distinction to make the point: "Authority" and "bully" are separate. Don't be a "bully." Think of your previous employers. They're "bullies," right?

I am embarressed

Don't be! That's they're way of convincing you of the notion that YOU need to "do" something else, get another degree, write a better resume, always a something else, always your fault. To hell with them!

and jeolous of everyone.

Are you kidding? Here's where I KNOW what goes on behind closed doors. Lots of my former 50 employers would tell you I'm a royal pain-in-the-ass sometimes as an employee, but they would all agree that I'm honest, trustworthy, dependable, hardworking. And ALL are jealous as hell of the fact I love my family more than my job! And THAT'S what they KNOW about you. THEY are jealous of YOU because what they "sense" is that you "need" them NOT for any sense of "personal fulfillment," but ONLY as a way to earn money because your first and only love and passion in life is your family! They hate that! BUT they RESPECT that! Use THAT against THEM and for YOU!

A real pity party I have going on.

Here's what I did a couple of years ago. Made me feel a lot better. Got me one solid black balloon. Had it filled with helium. Tied a black ribbon to it. Attached a note which read, "Goodbye Human Decency," and let it sail away.
Remember that ol' self-help book titled "I'm Okay, You're Okay"? Well, I've decided that I really am okay. "They," however, are FUBAR!

Anytime you need to vent, whatever, drop me an email, okay?
srv.crow@cox.net

"crow" is an old truck-driver cb-handle

highway · Newbie Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 1 Career Advice: +0/-0

Katja144 · Expert Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 176 Career Advice: +2/-0

Life is not all about work !

It is when you can't pay the bills. Hell, I don't work for fun. Most people don't. I have a job simply so I can have a place to live and food to eat. That was my biggest worry while unemployed, though looking like a loser for not being able to get a job did come a close second.

You know what we need to do in this country? Demand a money-back guarantee on ALL college educations! I'm serious. The bastards promise you the moon, don't they? And then comes the reality check that the "system" works for some, but not others. On this board are those for whom college did indeed produce the desired results. There's also those for whom it's proven to be of no use whatsoever.

I've wondered about that at times. I have friends who've gotten good jobs, and others, who are equally as smart/presentable, who haven't. I never figured out what the difference is.

I know you may not be a christian, or you may have heard this kind of talks a lot of times, but beleive me HE is the source of HOPE in this life, I would like to ask you accept him in your life, if you haven't already did, and that you surrender all and everything to him. I know some people will say "and how I am gonna suppose to eat and drink with just surrendering everything to him?" But beleive me as this is my personal experience that HE will take care of you, he will open doors that you thought it will never be opened, or that you thought it never existed. Just come to him and pray to him. All my intentions of posting you this reply is to tell you how my life is going on, knowing that jesus is the king. and he will take care of me.

You know, being Christian myself, one thing that made me lose hope during my job search was that fallacy.

See, there are plenty of good Christians out there with plenty of faith who are starving, molested, beaten, hated, and what-have-you. And I realized: if they're not special enough for God to save, then why should I expect *I* am??

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