Almost 29 and still looking to find my way

[MaKsOZ]

Hello Everybody,

So as I said in the title, I am 29 years old and still haven't found myself, so i will tell you some important point of my life hopping that you can help me:

I graduated at 22 years old from a BTS in accountancy ( this is a french diploma, equivalent is Btec Higher in accountancy I think ), but I never really wanted to be an accountant, I did that because I didn't know what to do and I liked math, day trading so why not.

After that I went to london to improve my english and worked as a night porter. In london I fall in love with card magic, so I bought a deck of cards and practiced everyday.

After London I went with a friend to australia because when I was a child my dream was to surf, make a barrel, nice beach etc.

So I went there and wow, this trip just changed my life, I was so happy, I did made a barrel and that was the best feeling I ever had. During that time, I did some card magic to friends and some of them said : "wow man you are very good, I would never play poker with you , do you know poker ? " I didn't... So I went to the casino to have a look, i didn't play but I loved the atmosphere, the card, the sound of the ships and I felt " I want to be good at this".

So after Australia I came back to my Hometown in France and started studying poker a lot, I saved some money for 2 years and went to Las Vegas for 3 months. " I was so focused about this trip, I was thinking about it everyday for 2 years, I still remember 2 weeks before going I was making strange dreams, there were tornadoes around me ". Also It was the first time that I made a real decision with myself, I felt that poker was all the connection with my past: The cards, my mathematique skills, also I studying psychology by myself, i was fascinated by a con man who knew human nature a lot so I wanted to learn it ( but not to scam people obviously ).

During those 3 months, I played poker almost everyday, I was very serious and professionnal, taking notes on my computer after every session, analyzing my error etc.. I did manage to win 2000$ during this trip which is not great but ok.

After going back home, I decided to go back to Australia because there is poker and surf so why not mix everything I love ? And talking about love, I found my japanese wife there ( we get married last month ).

We were housemate and quickly get close together, my visa was almost finished so I said to her " I am going to work in New Zealand for one year, do you come with me ?" Of course she came ( we knew each other only for 3 month ).

So here I was in New Zeland with my first real girlfriend, I worked in a french restaurant there and played poker but not a lot. We stayed one year in NZ and then we had to separate. That was very hard, but necessary. So I am back in France and I know this girl is important for me so I am gonna married her. We didn't meet for 5 months ( because of the tsunami mainly ) and I came in May for 3 weeks in Japan. We had to separate again for 4 month, so then I applying for a 1 year working holiday visa and now I am in Japan ( Which is a great beautiful country, but way too busy for us ( we are in osaka )).

We are going to France this june, I am thinking about making a cake business with her but I know it's not my way, I have a passion for many thing but I can't decide one, I love poker, magic, photography, photo retouching ,videography, surfing.

I made a personality test and the result were ( you are an artist, you can be photographer, producer, web designer etc ).

I forgot to mention that when I was In london, I bought a website domain named " My life.com " because I had this idea about creating a website to share pictures, life events with friends etc.. When I saw Facebook I thought " ****, I thought about it but didn't make it "

Anyway now I am a man and I want to have a succesful life, I know i am smart ( many people told me this to be honest ) but i can't make a f**$ decision and I am sick of that.

So everybody who read everything and have advice to help me please do it !

Thank you very much !

[CleeIB]

Hi MaKsOZ,

Thanks for sharing your story. It was a delightful read. You are blessed to have many skills.

One way to help oneself focus is to look at the long view. The short view is easy: "I like this, this, that, and that". The long view is: "Which of these things can carry me the furthest?"

So for everything you listed -

Poker
Magic
Photography
Photo retouching
Videography
Surfing

- put the word "professional" before it. Which can you truly envision yourself doing?

Professional poker player?
Professional magician?
Professional surfer?

And so on.

The only person that can make the choice is you, because you know yourself best. Maybe photo retouching is, on paper, a more secure profession than surfing. But maybe you have the right skills and body type to be a surfer, or maybe you don't have the skill or dedication to sit down with Photoshop and work with dozens of layers at once.

So look within yourself. Ask not, "What do I like?", but "What am I made to do?"

If you can't answer yet, give each endeavor a go. That is, really try to be a professional at each - to work daily at it and have it be the thing that puts food on your table. You will quickly find out which ones are not for you.

Good luck!

[MaKsOZ]

Hi CleeIB

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it !

Concerning the surf, I don't want to be a professionnel, it's just a hobby but I want to practice it often, It's just a good way to evacuate stress and clear my mind.

My dream job is to be a poker player because it connects a lot of my skills, and when I saw the stanford conference of Steve Job when he talked about " connecting the dots " it really touched my heart because I really have similar thinking of him, same about death and value of life, that we have nothing to lose.

But poker is so risky and the income are not stable, and now I have a wife so it's pretty tough.. Here in Japan poker is illegal so I don't play, I teach english here, it's fun but I have bigger goals than being an english teacher.

I really want to make something big in my life, I read many biography of successful people, I love watching motivationnal videos on youtube ( Will Smith is really an awesome man ) and I know I can do it but hard to decide.

I also listen many stuff from Jim Rohn and Brian Tracy, they explain " how to be successful in your life " and it's really helpful, so I know how to act but my only problem is setting a goal and don't give up, keep pushing even if I fail because every successful people failed at least one time.

But as you said I am the only one to chose my life so I will keep opening doors !

Thank you