I have been unemployed for over a year. I live in a town called St Helens which has a bad unemployment record although not one as bad as Mythyrtidvyl. I want to move to the city of Liverpool but I cannot as I have a £900 rent deficit with Maritime Housing and they will not help me move untill it has cleared.
In the meantime I aim to go to St Helens college doing PC Repair and Maintainance but I know that the bus fares alone would leave me penniless. It is a fair walk into the town where I live. I am worried that when I go to college I will not fit in anyway because I am poor and don't have new clothes. This was the case two years ago when I went to Liverpool college. It was a disaster.
I have aspergers which makes things worse. At the moment I am on the government Work Programme with A4E which is not helping me. They said that if I don't do as they say I will lose my JSA. In secret they told me that I and people like me are dole scroungers.
Anyway, I want to do something at college but I am confused because I don't truly know what I want to do with my life. I keep thinking that I would take up computer repair or website design just because I've played about with a bit of code; I have little or no creative flair - so what is the point? I have a qualification in fitness instruction but cannot find any work with it. What a waste of time that was! I should have attended a course in May but I cannot walk all that way with a catheter inside my bladder (the catheter will be removed in two weeks time). It is too late to start any courses now, I am told.
At the moment I'm advised to look for work which I know is not there, and they think I'm just lazy. They warned me recently that I would have to be forced to do mandatory work placements. I don't mind this so as long as it benefits me. But I've heard of some stories where people have gone on these placements just so that the companies can get free labour. I don't want to stack shelves in Tesco. How will that help me? I've had dozens of jobs in the past.
I feel like I'm on the scrap-heap. Is it my fault? I've tried the best I can. Apparently, it isn't good enough.
Any advice would be most welcome.