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maddy · Newbie Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2 Career Advice: +0/-0

I recently made the decision to resign from my position. I worked in higher ed. Unfortunately a let a very personal matter with a person that became a student there get the best of me. I realize I made a HUGE mistake. I am apalled with myself for reacting in the manner that I did, because that is not me, in fact I have had on going problems with 1 co worker in particular for years & have handled myself in a very professional manner with this person. I have learned a very valuable lesson, you should never let any personal matters no MATTER WHAT get in the way of how you handle business.

My question is how do I answer the question why did you leave? I am fearful that my company will say that I am not eligible for rehire when asked that question because of this situation. Please help I am desperate. I do not wish to elaborate because of course this is a very personal matter. Can the prespective employer ask for specifics to my former employer if I state the real reason as to why I left? I do want to be honest, because I do need a job & I am afraid that if I am not honest I will have a hard time landing a new job. I have extensive experience & I am one of the most dependable and reliable employees a comany could ever have. In fact my last review was excellent. I have excellent letters of reference from professionals I worked with at this institution & from my former employer I worked with for 4 1/2 years.I really don't want to say no when asked if they can contact my former employer, because I heard this raises a lot of concern. Any help will be greatly appreciated

Katja144 · Expert Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 176 Career Advice: +2/-0

I'm guessing your former employer may hesitate to say WHY you left, for fear of a lawsuit or something.

Unfortunately, all a prospective employer has to hear is "not eligible for rehire" and they'll automatically cross you off their list without even asking you if you have a valid explanation.

I worry that some of my former employers may say they wouldn't hire me back, for reasons that aren't my fault but they think it is, and that could be why I'm not getting job offers, but I figure it's better to say they can contact these people and hope my former employers stick to the "not giving anything but dates of employment," rather than to say they can't contact them...sort of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation, but at least there's hope with one option.

Richard · Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 1:45 pm Post subject:

The answer is to keep quiet about it until you feel it's necessary to mention it. Get your positive impressions in first, let prospective employers know you can do the job by getting them on your side and then, and only then, can you let them know of any skeletons. It's mind games on your part, you have to make them think the advantages of hiring you are greater than the disadvantages.

When are employers going to realise that we are only human? Personal problems affect 100% of the workforce at some stage of their working lives. As long as you're not seen as a disruptive influence or you take liberties with your employer's time, there shouldn't be any discrimination made against circumstance.

Richard · Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:10 am Post subject:

Oh, I forgot - I left my last job because my partner became grievously ill overnight and someone needed to be at home to care for the family while she spent 15 weeks in hospital. I went on extended sick leave until my contract came up for review and we parted by mutual consent. I was a civil servant and had only been in the job for 4 months but at no time did I try to cover up or anything. It's been my policy to be open and frank about things with employers and the social services for a long time now as it's so much easier to tell the truth than maintain a lie. I've not been back to the 9-5 routine since then and now work from home as a freelance writer.

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